tonight i am sitting here, studying for an exam. i just had a class in entertainment and media and we talked about psychology of markets. about how media companies are so sensitive to fads in the market and how markets are so irrational.
sometimes i think about very shallow things, like how insecure i am about the fact that i am getting old, and my clothes are tighter than before.
sometimes i think about life and how perfect life has turned out for me. and then i miss my dad, because if my dad was alive and happy, life would have been even more perfect. and if i lived closer to my mom and sister whom i miss terribly every time i enjoy a german beer.
i especially miss my mom. the thought of her getting old and fragile frightens me. the thought of her dying...well, i do not want to imagine that. but i want to be close to her. close enough that i can see her on a whim, for an afternoon tea, which is a very civilized thing as my new friend, an old guy from the upper west side would say.
the weather is nice in brooklyn, and my room is warm and sunny. i open the curtains to let the sun in every morning and the rays of light add to my fragile happiness.
night is beautiful too. the walk from the subway in the empty streets, sometimes accompanied by the sound of the wind, sometimes by verdi. i like the night. i like feeling like i am protected from the bright harsh reality of the day. from all that noise, all that bore of the outside world.
i am living my 30s to the fullest. or am i?
Hi just notes, I red today about a new movie by the fabulous Stephen Fry, called "Wagner and me". During his pilgrimage to Bayreuths "Green Hill" he describes how he grew up in a family that lost several jewish relatives in the Holocaust, but still adored Wagners music (same as Theodor Herzl, the founder of zionism did).
ReplyDeleteFry recalls Oscar Wilde, whom he played on stage and in movie before, and whom he cites with the statement: "I love Wagners music more than any other, because it is so loud. You can easily talk to your neighboor during a concert, and nobody else in the audience can hear what your saying."
I guess that your plan to attend the Bayreuth festival might still be hampered by the difficulties of getting a ticket. But maybe this new documentary film is a little compensation.
best regards, all the best, Michael
PS: It was always interesting to read your posts. Its a pitty you stopped writing.
Hi Just Notes, You ask "i wonder why i don't write anymore. sometimes i have a lot to say, but i don't know how to say them, or where to start."
ReplyDeleteI started two years ago to follow a couple of blogs, and observed at many of them the same phenomenon: they start to blog very intensely during the first 2 - 3 years, posting many intersting articles. Then, suddenly, the activities declines and after about 3 years the private blogs dry out completely. On your site, it is the same pattern, when you started 2009 with 32 posts, and 2010 with 12 ones, you apparently stoped in December 2011 completely after 8 posts. I have to say I regret this a lot, since you did not just copied/pasted news article, but expressed your own thoughts and dreams, which were always very unique. If I try to understand why people stop to write on their blogs, I can imagine two factors: Either they think that nobody in the world reads their posts (and replies to them with valuable comments), or that they lost interest in their own life themself. For the first thing, I have to assure you that there are always people reading your blog (at least I found it linked in other peoples watch-lists), even if they dont comment on each and every post. For the second possible reason, I very much hope that I was wrong, and that you have not lost your interest and your intellectual spirit in observing and interpreting your own life and the world around you.
It is a sad thing that this blog, which was so inspiring and witty, got suddenly abandoned more than 2 years ago. I am curious what happened to the writer of Just Notes after December 2011. Did she decided to stop writing her blog, because she received some silly comments ? Or because she did not received any comments ? Or did she suddenly became too busy with the daily routine job, with a family, with social activities, so that no time was left to occasionally feed the blog ? Or did the writer had accumulated too many stories day-in day-out, that putting them all into the blog in retrospective would be a very lengthy task. Maybe the writer decided it is more reasonable to write it up as a book, and publish it one day.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it is a loss.
I am wondering, why after 3 years writing inspiring and witty posts, almost on a regular basis, somebody suddenly stopped this. Did the writer forgot its password for the blog, or did he/she got a job that does not leave a free minute to write ? Or did the writer developed an allergy against the keyboard, or suddenly became analphabet ?
ReplyDeleteIt is a pitty, and we will never find out !!!
So this blog, my new notes, will forever stay like the unfinished fairytale, that somebody who came along on a caravan told us, but than had to leave the place before the story was finished.