30 years old
jobless
homeless
and damn happy

who would think so?

Happy birthday to me!

expectations will haunt you down

you have been waiting for it to happen for a long time
you have been dreaming of the day it happens
and it's always been peachy and creamy in your dreams
...
and the day it happens, a cold sunday afternoon in May,
is nothing close to peachy
in fact,
it doesn't even feel like this is what you have been waiting for

last few hours

The last day of the job is exciting and unsettling. I have spent many hours at this desk in the past four years; productive hours and not-so-productive ones. I have gone through many emotions and moods. I have loved the job, been frustrated, and been ambivalent. I have felt lucky working with these people, and I have been very annoyed at times.

I have always dreamt of leaving the job. I have imagined the joy and freedom of leaving this job. I have imagined that I would miss these people.

… and the moment of truth is upon me. Today is the last day of my job, and I have all those feelings. I regret my decision, I rejoice, I obsess, I already miss people, I worry, and above all, I feel ready. As if my arms are open to embrace the next stage of my life: stepping out of my comfort zone, learning new things, meeting new people, and hopefully, more happiness.

These last hours are oddly enough, a little excruciating. I feel like I want it to be done already, i just want to get out of here.