dream of freedom

I am listening to the radio and two foreign policy experts are talking about the Iran's green movement. the guy mentions that the green movement in iran does not have the support of the majority. that most people in iran want an islamic republic, in the current or a reformed shape.

my first reaction is that you obviously don't know anything about iran. but then i think about something that i have thought about time and time again: how much do i know about iran? how homogeneous is iran?

i obviously lived a sheltered life. i was the daughter of an intellectual secular family with an almost western upbringing. it's not that we were rich, or poor for that matter, but we were different from many people. for one, we were non-religious and untraditional. my father was a feminist in his words and a socialist in my view. our family friends were of our type. they were educated, non-religious, political and open minded. even when i was in iran it was obvious to me that we are different. i took pride in our being different. i saw my family and myself as rebels against the authority of this regime.

but did i learn nothing about other people? i mean i went to school and worked with all sorts of people. true, i tried to stay away from the ones that had too different of ideologies, but i had friends from all sorts of families. i worked in a rural area of iran for about 1.5 years and i travelled a little. did i not learn anything about iran? i don't believe i didn't.

yes, iranians are not all like my family. they are religious, judgmental and strict in their world views, but most of them are sick of the islamic republic. the cab drivers and passengers alike blame the government for their misfortunes. unemployment is a bitch and inflation is eye-popping. there is no certainty in the future and tension is high. people are angry and tired. they don't know how they will be able to afford the cost of living. they see the theft and experience corruption first hand. they feel stifled and tired. they want freedom. and i believe that they are wiling to pay high prices for that dream. the dream of a democracy, where oil money is put to good use and the future is bright and clear. where abuse is justly punished and the criminals are brought to justice. we have not and will never forget the cruelty of this regime. we want peace, justice and freedom. and i believe in it when i say "we".

happiness

a professor was giving a talk about happiness. she was listing the happiest con tries of the world and the reasons behind their satisfaction. the happiest country in the world was listed as Denmark.


my first response was: "sure, it's obvious. they are wealthy, educated and healthy. and they have a socialistic country that takes care of them when they need it." but then she compared other countries with similar characteristics. Germany, France, Italy, Sweden, Switzerland, etc.


it turned out, the most important factor determining happiness is expectations. apparently Danish have low expectations of life. they don't expect to have huge amounts of money, extraordinary careers, big houses or luxury cars. in fact, every year they are pleasantly surprised that the state of affairs in Denmark is not completely rotten.


now, think about that for a second. i had to pause and reflect on it for a few days. this is huge. this is telling me that the lower i expect from life, the happier i am. (assuming basic levels of well being). completely counter intuitive, right? maybe.

it made me think about my relationships. does that mean the happiest relationships are the ones that the couple have the lowest expectations from each other? does that mean not having standards make you happy? if you are a beer snob like me, you get annoyed when all is available is budlight. but if you have low expectations, you can't be disappointed.


i have to say, i am conflicted by this. if in search of quality we lose happiness, do we want to pause and lower our expectations? or do we want to accept that we just can't be the happiest people because we can't have low standards. how much control do we really have in setting expectations?

i haven't written for a long long time. in fact, i have not had enough time to reflect on myself. i was too busy managing the events of the outside world that i nearly lost where i am in the journey of life. this all sounds too philosophical and i am a fairly simple person, but there is some truth to it.

when you see yourself with the eyes of the outside world, your view of yourself becomes very narrow. in the past few months i was focused on finding a job. and finding a job requires me to look at myself from the employer's prespective.

this is truly the first time i have ever looked for a job. in the past, the job has always came to me either because i was a good engineer or because i knew the right people. but this time, i was not good at the job i wanted to take: i have never done it before. and i didn't know anyone. let alone anyone that actually mattered. so convincing people that they should offer me a job was a task that was a bit beyond me. now, it's true that i am in an mba program and we, mba students, tend to think that we can do just about any job and be good at it. i can't say that i fully believed that, but i am convinced that i'm smart enough to learn just about anything in a short time.

the interviews were very different depending on the company and the function. in many of the interviews, the interviewer just asked many arbitrary questions and gave me some business cases to solve. i didn't get my dream job, which was only my dream job because the company is very high profile. but i got a job that i feel good about. and the reason i feel good about it is that i think people in this company took time to get to know me. the interviewer asked me about my upbringing in iran, about my transition after immigration and about what interests me in the business world. i really appreciated that he is curious about me, and not only about what i have prepared to say.


well, long story short, i took the job and i will be spending all of the next summer at a job i know nothing about. but i anticipate it to be a good experience. a learning experience that pays. so i am happy right now and i get to spend this semester doing whatever i want. i get to be curious without worrying about getting a job.

i am happy even though it's winter. and winter always wears on me. i also started rock climbing again which is just awesome.