there is a fear that makes you more cautious. then there is a fear that almost numbs your brain. the fear itself makes what you are afraid of, inevitable.
i wish i could stare the fear in the face and do what i need to do. knowing that if what i'm afraid of happens, i will be alright... i wish i believed i will be alright. that i could be happy again, even if the unfortunate happens...
i miss living close to my family. they gave me courage...now, i am a lot more fearful. as if i am still a child who feels helpless when left alone in the big world, among strangers.
