Jacky

we got jacky when he was maybe a month old. maybe younger. a friend of my sister has bought him, and he somehow just left it at our house, and we took care of her. at the beginning with suspicious and then with love. she was extremely cute and that was enough to convince us that she is going to be our dog, even though we really didn't know the responsibilities and difficulties of having a dog. after all, how hard could it be?

and jacky was a part of our family from then on. we loved her, we cherished her, we cried when he got hit by a car and we missed her a lot when we had to take her to our country house because the neighbours complained that he barks too much. she was more than what i ever imagined a dog could be. she was smart and every time one of us was sad or depressed, she somehow acted like she know what's going on...

jacky lived in our country house for the past 6 years. my dad was her main companion and she loved him. they comforted each other, and took care of each other in their own ways. my dad would get really unsettled whenever he would come to the city and leave jacky for more than a couple of days.

in my last trip home, jacky seemed like she us putting on weight. we thought she must have gotten pregnant in one of her adventures in the streets. she didn't have energy to run around and play. she moaned kind of sadly when i first saw her after 5 years. jacky has comforted me a lot of times. when i was emotionally drained and didn't want to talk to anyone, i would just hug her and sit with her tacitly for hours. she was big and fury and the warmth of her body was very comforting.

i had a feeling that it would be the last time i am seeing jacky when i left iran. and so it was. jacky died about a week ago. my mom gave me the news in an email. i didn't sleep all night, thinking about her and that how my dad must be feeling lonely. she died just two days after my 29th birthday.

i miss her. she was a good companion...

the ultimate effect of protecting men from folly is to people the world with fools. - Spencer

election

i didn't vote in the last election when ahmadinejad became the president. i remember people told me i should vote, and i was against voting. mostly because i didn't think any of the candidates are legitimate, but also, i reasoned, the larger number of votes would indicate stronger support for the islamic republic. ahmadinejad was elected and i remember feeling very indifferent about it. i thought there is not a big difference who is the president; the country is not going to change for better, or much worse. it was the end of khatami's term and i was only thinking about how much more could be done with his popularity, and how many things went wrong. but i seemed to have forgotten how the result of that election changed our country for ever. not only because we, people of iran, felt we have a saying in our country's political path, but also, because of all the positive change that followed the election of khatami.

four years later, i am looking back and think there were very few days in the past four years, in which i, an iranian who doesn't even live in the country, did not feel the catastrophic result of this past election. let's remember ahmadinejad denial the holocaust, his interview/speech in columbia university and the united nations, to the nuclear energy controversy and the threats of preemptive attacks, the unbelievable inflation of the past four years, and the increasingly deteriorating freedom of speech in iran.


to vote or not to vote...


i wish i could say: of course i am going to vote, and of course i know who i am voting for. that i believe in the competence, integrity and the judgment of this or that candidate. i wish i could say, my candidate is not going to lie when he campaigns and is going to execute what he promises, and is not going to be afraid to take action when it is needed. i wish i could say my candidate is a diplomat with the tools, knowledge and resources needed to run the country in the center of all different ideologies and for all iranian people.


but i can not say any of these. i can not possibly believe such a candidate could get passed the filters that the islamic republic enforces on the nominees. and i can not say from the existing choices, there is a single candidate that i trust, even in the loosest form...


but i can also say, my candidate, whoever it is going to be, is hopefully going to be a less horrible choice than mahmoud ahmadinejad and is going to run the country less horribly than him. and that might only be wishful thinking, but what else is there for me to do? because when your alternative is the worst, whoever you choose, is going to be better...


and i wish this was not the case.

london

This is an unfinished note I wrote in london:london has a lot to offer: it's vibrant and diverse, it is green, the streets are wide, the architecture is brilliant. but it's also gloomy. you don't see the sun for more than 20 minutes every day. in some ways it's very similar to new york: interesting people, a lot of culture and a lot of shopping. it also reminds me of washington, dc. when you step out of downtown, the houses and the streets and the tranquility of the space is very much like dc. people are very polite and they are not as much in rush as new yorkes, but they don't look as boring as washingtonians. they say "lovely" and "brilliant" a whole lot, and they think americans use "awesome" very inappropriately. i have to say, it was easter weekend though, and i guess holidays make everyone nicer than usual.

night life in soho is much like the west village: ton of people loitering in front of the bars, and there are many many gay bars, and of course every guy who looks good is probably gay. so not much luck for the ladies. i went to a lesbian bar so that i won't feel the lack of attention, but there weren't many lesbians around, and the dj who was interestingly iranian, totally sucked.

i really liked big ben. the most interesting part of that building is the details of the gothic architecture. it feels like there is a lot of energy stored in the carvings of the facade. but i also just liked the huge clock. thames is not that impressive...i find hudson more interesting, less grey and polluted.

we went to suffolk one day to have the best fish and chips in england, as my hosts suggested. the scenery is very interesting; the river, the sky, the meadow and the sheep are almost the same color: a greenish grey...you feel you are senile aof what you might not like but must take...the fish and chips was good, not that I have a high standard of fish and chips cause I,ve never had it before i went to london, but the batter was light and fluffy and the fish moist. i can't give much praise to the fries, or chips, cause they were not that great. i think pommes frites in the east village does a better job.